Earth to Heidi

Whoa, where have the last few months gone?!? I know it's been quite some time since I posted anything. I won't pretend you were really concerned, but maybe I will..just a little ;)

So maybe you were wondering, what has Heidi been up to? What's she been baking? Thanks for asking. Let me tell you.

I started my new job as a nurse on an ortho/trauma unit in a large Grand Rapids hospital. To say it's been stressful would be an understatement. They say it takes 6 months to a year to become comfortable at a new job. I'm just over 2 months in, and I can't wait until this job starts to feel normal. Every day there is something new or something scary or overwhelming. I expect this will continue for some time, and I know that this is not unusual in the nursing world. But seriously, some days I'm like why am I a nurse. I want to stay at home and bake and not be stressed out over sick, sometimes dying people that I am responsible for. I had my first experience with a patient who was in fact dying. He was placed on hospice and started on a morphine drip to keep him comfortable until he passed. His wife never left his side. His kids came and went, as did their tears. It was so sad. I prayed (maybe selfishly) that he wouldn't pass during my shift. I have a new admiration for hospice nurses. Men and women who daily choose to enter this sacred space with families as they say goodbye. I don't think I could do it.

I know that it will get better. There will always be stressful shifts and difficult patients, but as I grow it will become easier. Right now, however it's tough. I get home from a 12 hour (sometimes more) shift and I feel like I just ran a marathon. I try to sleep during the day, and when I finally get out of bed before my next shift, I sometimes struggle not to cry at the thought of doing it all again in a couple hours. I look at the nurses who have been doing this for a decade or more, and I just wonder how. And why. Tell me your secrets.
Sorry to be a downer, but it feels good to say it how it is. I don't have to pretend like it's going great or that I love my job everyday. Because it's not, and I don't. But I'm sticking with it and pressing on.

So Christmas came and went during this time. Joe and I had the blessing of being able to go to my home in Sheboygan. My whole family was there this year. We didn't do a whole lot. Just spent the weekend enjoying each other's company. It was great.

This little cutie is our neice

Yep. That one is my husband...

We are master decorators

Joe sporting some of his gifts :)

Check out the KitchenAid Joe got me! I love love love it. I've already put it to good use :)

I made these pumpkin truffles:

And this pumpkin pie:

And it's not Christmas without peanut butter blossoms

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas too, and a happy new year. My year is looking unexpected and full of change and that can be scary. But I know that God is in control, and that truly gives me much comfort and peace.